In the wake of coming out...
" I am passing no judgement on you so let's talk when
you feel like you want to.
First of all, I am so terribly sorry for experiencing
the sexual harassment that you did at work. Totally
inappropriate; however, it still continues all the
time in so many environments. My response was always,
"Excuse me...............what did you say??" You were
right to leave and you were right to file a complaint.
I've known several strong, intelligent women who
stripped so this is not shocking to me.
One very important element in all of this is to be
careful and safe, yes? The bachelor parties, do you
also have a male bouncer with you?
Let's talk when you feel like it.
Lots of love".
It made me feel a lot better, I think I'll call her Saturday.
Anyway, one of the customers (vivid fantasy guy) I mentioned in an earlier post came in a couple times this week to the peep show, while I was on the main stage he kept mouthing "I love you" over and over again. I danced for him for a couple songs, but eventually turned it over to one of the other girls who has heard of his economic wealth. The next day he came into my private booth, he said "I've fallen for you, but I know the distinction between fantasy and reality...kind of". I gave him a queried look and asked "Do you want to talk about it?" He said no, so I gave him a pretty bleak show in hopes he'd just leave. After the show he said "The only fantasy I have now is walking down a beach holding your hand", I sighed and said "Yeah, and that's all I deal in, is fantasy". He got this really sad look and said "You know, you never even asked my name..." I paused, "I'm sorry, I, ugh, usually let CUSTOMERS offer..." He shook his head and told me his name, repeating it several times quietly. He left, leaving me about half the tip he usually does. I fucked up, I wasn't dealing in fantasy, I gave too much up.
I had just barely shaken my lesson well learned when sports enthusiast guy came into my booth. He's spent the past few weeks assuring me that he thinks of me as a person, and that he doesn't want to be like those "other guys" who just come in to "yanno, see you as the hot girl you are". Don't get me wrong, I want to connect with my customers, and I want them to understand that they're dealing with a person, and I feel like I achieve that pretty regularly. I suppose that's why it's so insulting to hear this from him all the time, because he's taking the power back, dictating himself the good guy, and all the others who "walk all over me" the bad guys. Before leaving he said "and if I ever drop $50 in five minutes in here, I want you to know that it's because I appreciate you...and you really turn me on". I smiled, giggled, thanked him and closed the curtain.
Had I not suffered enough for one day? Apparently not.
Next man appears, suite, nice shoes and a smiling demeanor. I introduced myself, began to explain how the booth works, but before I could finish he interrupted.
"Mistress, you can tie me up the way you have always wanted to..."
Skipping only a beat I proceeded to interrogate this quivering man about all of his indiscretions for the past week, periodically demanding some form of humiliation as penance. At the end he gathered his things and smiled politely before tipping me and leaving.
I wish I was a better Dom, but I always find myself repeating back to them whatever it is they've "done bad", while I try to think of some response befitting a mistress. I usually just end up stumbling through the whole episode, often reverting to having them lick where my shoes are pressed up against the glass.
On the book front, I'm currently reading The Arcane of Reproduction: Housework, Prostitution, Labor and Capital by Leopoldina Fortunati so far it's good, but I must admit it was a bit over my head at first. Maybe it's the translation, but the dualities that the book rests upon, often just seem like run on sentences.
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