I just passed my fifth anniversary in the sex industry last October, and I have been wondering how I want to continue. As I've gotten older and more jaded, talking with customers in a strip club environment has gotten increasingly tiresome. Of course I want to shepherd them to the VIP as quickly as possible because I want their money, but mostly it's because I'd much rather be grinding on their lap than engaging in the same rehearsed drivel over and over again. My hustle has never been that great, but when I was 20, 10 pounds lighter, and significantly less tattooed it just didn't seem as important.
I love stripping, and I'm pretty good at at pole tricks and floor work. I love being naked and having people watch me and reward me financially. I even like rubbing someone off with my ass in a dance, it may be a hang over from my pro switch days but it makes me feel in control (which I like). However, the prospect of talking idly with customers has taken on such an anxiety inducing quality to it that is seriously effecting my ability to make money. Despite the near constant bugging/encouraging from my managers I refuse to speak to customers until I dance a set for them, and even then I'd much rather smoke cigarettes in the dressing room until my next set.
I think I may need to prioritize making money in the industry ahead of having a weekly night out dancing where I'll be lucky if I bring home $200. So, I think I have a few options:
1) Try Webcamming or Phone Sex Again
I really REALLY hated webcamming, it's the only sex work I've done that consistently makes me feel like trash. I used to sit in my ramshackle studio in my garage for 4-7 hour shifts and never make over $100. All the while subjecting myself to what I found to be intolerable verbal abuse from customers. I don't think this is the fault of webcam itself, I think I just honestly hate making sexy small talk.
I kind of enjoyed phone sex, and I got some of my favorite weird work stories out of it. I could sit at my desk doing other work and wait until someone called and was immediately being paid for my time. That being said, I work a full time 9-5 at an office so I don't have a ton of time to sit at home waiting patiently for someone to call. I don't think I'd really being making more money per week than what I do dancing one night a week.
2) Move on to Escorting
I've never done escorting in the strictest sense. I used to work for an agency that sent us out for special events and private shows. The special events ranged from topless waitressing to multi-girl sex shows. Private shows were typically one or two girls and we'd jerk off while they jerked off and squeezed/licked our breasts. I did have one show where I fucked someone's wife while her husband watched, but that was the only proper sex I've ever engaged with a client. I don't have any moral or emotional hangups about it, but it's not a game I'm in and I'm worried about trying to set myself up as an occasional escort when my time is at an incredible premium. I'm also ridiculously scared of getting arrested, possibly unreasonably so. I know lots of escorts who seem to have their screening down to a science and while they always worry, it doesn't impede them from doing their work. I just can't even imagine being able to get over this fear enough actually meet with a client. Before the demise of the "adult" section of craigslist, I actually set up a few dates, but would sit in my car outside their houses and be unable to go inside for fear of them being a cop.
3) Try a Sugar Daddy Site
I've signed up for a few of these, and just generally lurk. I've exchanged pictures with a few potentials, and sent e-mails back and forth but haven't gone on a "date" yet. There's one who seems like they might actually be great, late 60s, we like similar wine and books, but when he asked if we could meet I closed the browser tab and haven't logged back in since. I want some plausible deniability that my internet is out, or I was out of town, or something. I'm worried that entering into an arrangement like this is just going to replicate my problems with stripping: having to talk to people I'm completely disinterested in.
Okay, maybe I have one emotional hangup...My at home sex life is not exactly that active, and I worry about having sex regularly with someone other than my established romantic partners will be confusing.
I'm also worried about client resentment when I can't be there emotionally or physically in a timely fashion. I'm super busy, and I probably won't have time to be texting a trick back when I'm traveling for work or hanging out with my family.
4) Suck it Up
Keep doing what I'm doing and try to reinvigorate my hustle at the club.
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